I've just been poked and prodded more and more.
I went to the consultation with the GI guy who's going to do the colonoscopy and he seemed confident after a preliminary exam that my test was going to reveal nothing profound.
Then I went on Monday and had an abdominal ultrasound. She spent quite a bit of time trying to isolate my right ovary for imaging and it was pretty uncomfortable. Of course she kept that poker face that all techs have to have and I didn't even bother asking if she saw anything. I knew the answer would be "I'm not allowed to say".
In any event, getting my digestive system "regular" again seems to have helped with the symptoms although I still get that fluttering nerve tingling "wack-your-funny-bone" feeling in my lower right abdomen so who knows. By the time they figure it out I'll either be back to normal or really ill.
I have let it go though. I'm no longer stressing over it. I just can't drain myself with worry that way. I think when you do that it only complicates things and increases any pain you might already be enduring.
When I get stressed my stomach knots up. My stomach already is uncomfortable so screw stress.
Now, when I find myself dwelling on all of this in an unhealthy way, I focus on my son and we do something fun together. Hey, if I can't fix what's wrong then doing something fun to pass the time is better than sitting in the dark and worrying. Either way the time is going to pass. May as well have a memory to show for it.
So I've been going to the beach a lot. I had forgotten how calming and soothing the sound of the gentle surf can be. And the cawing of the seagulls as they circle overhead. The sun is not exactly my friend, but we go early enough that it's still relatively cool out and the ocean is warm as bath water. We live on the side of Florida that is almost as far from the Gulf oil spill as you can get -- the NE coast. Even though it was reported that tar balls were found on the beach the other day (and ruled out as far as being from the BP spill) we found the beaches to be pristine sugar sand that felt luxurious on our feet.
Any stress I might have felt before just melts away with the sun, the surf and the gentle breeze in my hair.
And it's nice to see my son with a smile on his face, and no electronics were used in the creation of his happiness.
I'm thinking I get more from the beach than I've been getting from the doctors. At least I come away with less stress than more. :)